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Laurie Cameron

Certified Coach & Master Certified Relationship Coach

The Journey From Fear to Love

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Weekly WAKE UP Call!

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March 16, 2009

 

Cultivating Kaizen in Our Relationships

 

A few years ago, I found a wonderful little bit of inspiration at my favorite Japanese fast-food restaurant in Denver , Tokyo Joe's. On each table was a folded card with restaurant information on one side, and on the other was the Japanese word, KAIZEN, and its definition: "the Japanese principle of consistent and gradual improvement."

 

I did some internet research, and found that Kaizen is widely taught and used in Japan as a method for improving business management practices.

 

The more I thought about it, the more I decided I really like the concept of "consistent and gradual improvement." And I think it applies to more than just business management - it makes sense in our relationships, too.

Evolution

 

It seems that somewhere along the way, many of us have forgotten that as we grow and evolve as individuals, our relationships must also grow and evolve. As we take baby steps in our consistent and gradual improvement, so must our relationships. They do not stay static, and we can not dictate how they progress.

 

Cary (not his real name), a recent client of mine, shared with me that he felt his marriage was stale because the "spark" he felt when he met his wife was gone. And he used that perception to assume there was nothing left in his marriage to keep it together.

 

Another client, Ann, was worried her best friend had "outgrown" her. She was distraught by her feeling that she may lose what she's always had with her friend. She's always believed in BFF - Best Friends Forever, and thought that meant that a friendship had to stay consistent; that friends were always supposed to relate to each other in the same way they always had.

 

Neither Cary nor Ann was taking into account that we all change and adapt as we get older and move forward.

New Possibilities  

With some coaching, Cary and his wife found new ways to stay connected. They explored ways to create a new spark in their relationship. They made wonderful new discoveries about who they each were now, and celebrated the unique gifts their individual growth had brought to their relationship. They realized they were grateful that their relationship wasn't the same as it was when they met.

 

Ann realized it was okay to allow her friendship to also evolve. She came to understand that it was okay for her and her friend to begin moving in different directions. She discovered she hadn't "failed" at friendship at all. She could allow that friendship to evolve more naturally, and she was open to what it could look like moving forward. She also realized that she was looking forward to hearing about her friend's new path.

Unavoidably Dynamic

"Consistent and gradual improvement" speaks to the unavoidable dynamic quality to life. It's ever-changing, as are we, as are our relationships. So cultivating Kaizen in our relationships is a process by which we can allow ourselves, others, and our relationships to grow in ways that we cannot dictate, but can observe with grace and compassion.

 

Here's your WAKE UP CALL TO ACTION:

Think about the relationships in your life really need the freedom to grow and evolve.

Which ones are you trying to hold back or dictate the way they progress?

Take a few steps back and allow a relationship that may have seemed stale to now blossom in ways you can't even imagine today.

Start today practicing Kaizen in ALL of your relationships!

 

(c) 2009 Laurie Cameron. All rights in all media reserved

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