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Laurie Cameron

Certified Coach & Master Certified Relationship Coach

The Journey From Fear to Love

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Weekly WAKE UP Call!

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October 13 , 2008

 

Evolutionary Relationships:

"Chet Started It!"

 

No, this isn't a desperate cry to Mom hoping to avoid personal responsibility for a fight with a sibling. It's giving credit where credit is due.

 

In March, 2007, I had the honor of meeting Chet Sisk, an international author and speaker, and a beautiful human being. In one of our first conversations, he shared with me his belief that we are not revolutionaries; we are "evolutionaries."

Each of us must step into our unique role in the evolution of our collective conscious as it moves to a higher vibration – to a higher frequency of Love. 

It was this conversation that gave birth to the concept of "Evolutionary Relationships", which in turn flipped the switch for me to write and publish my first book, The Journey From Fear to Love: Waking Up and Walking the "Evolutionary Relationship" Path With Your Partner. 

And what an amazing journey it's been!

In this WAKE UP article, I want to share the basic definition and concepts of Evolutionary Relationships.

 

Here's my definition:

An Evolutionary Relationship is a relationship where each person creates an environment where it's safe for the other to grow and evolve more naturally and gracefully.

 

This can be within a romantic relationship, a business partnership, or a relationship with a friend, sibling, parent, neighbor, or a past partner. Or even – and especially – the relationship with oneself.

 

BE THE COMPASSIONATE OBSERVER 

In order for a person to create an environment that's safe, it's important to first suspend all negative judgment. We all have opinions molded by our experiences and conditioning. But it's difficult to feel safe when another person is all up in our face with what they think is wrong with us or needs to change.

 

Being the Compassionate Observer is having the capacity to accept that we're all doing the best we can with the skills and knowledge we have in any given moment. We each observe the other's experiences, trials, and foibles (I LOVE that word!) with wonder, curiosity, and love.

COMPLETE OWNERSHIP OF OUR "STUFF" 

In an Evolutionary Relationship , each person is willing to take full ownership of their "stuff": their fears, beliefs, assumptions, opinions, conditioning and mistakes.

This essentially eliminates all victim and blame from the relationship. There's no time or energy wasted digging up evidence to prove who's at fault, or why she said that, or why he did that.

Your stuff is about you and your fears, and my stuff is about me and my fears. Period.

EACH FOR THE OTHER 

When each person in an Evolutionary Relationship is compassionate and takes responsibility for their own stuff, each is then free to hold the space for the other to grow and evolve more naturally and gracefully.

I've got your back, and you've got mine. There are no power struggles, no resentment, no drama, no heartbreak.

If you make a mistake or say something that might be interpreted as hurtful, I accept that you're on your own path and I don't make it about me.

I do set boundaries, and I share and own my response. I listen to you and support you to learn and grow from the experience. And you do the same for me when I screw up.

REALLY???

Are you thinking that this is too good to be true? Well, I think it's too good to NOT be true. And I've experienced it at different levels in most of my relationships. Not all of them… yet.

I like knowing that I still have plenty of room to grow, and lots of pockets of ignorance to fill in my lifetime. It gives me something to look forward to!

 

YOUR WAKE UP CALL TO ACTION

1. Think about one of your most frustrating relationships.
2. What's ONE small action you can take to be the Compassionate Observer, own your own "stuff", or have that person's back?

 

I sure hope that Chet never gets tired of hearing "THANK YOU", because my gratitude grows exponentially with each passing day that I get to do the work I'm here to do: to help people WAKE UP by choosing one more loving thought, word or action TODAY than they did yesterday.

 

(c) 2008 Laurie Cameron. All rights in all media reserved

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NOTE: you have my permission to share or reprint this article, as long as you include the following byline at the end of it:

 

 

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